Dearest Mommy,
         
Hi Mom! I’m in heaven now and I’m playing with all of the other angels here. You know Papa Jesus? Ü He has been very king to let me stay and heal me. I am now whole and in good condition again. But Mommy, I’m still wondering what happened before. I’m so confused.

I was inside you Mom, I knew I must be because it was dark but comfortable. Moms are comfortable, right? It was a long time ago but I still remember how it had been. It was dark inside you but I saw my body. I was little but I had hands and feet and I could move and wiggle them. I became happy when I learned of this for I knew already that I was healthy. But sometimes I would hear you scream and someone would yell back. It must have been Dad. I cried whenever that happened, I didn’t know what was happening and what caused the both of you to get angry like that. Other times I would hear you cry and I would also cry harder with you because I couldn’t do anything to make you stop. I didn’t want you to be sad mommy. I wanted you to be happy. So I waited and waited and tried with all my might to grow fast. I wanted to be your little girl.

But one day, I was suddenly woken up by a light I’ve never seen before. It was very bright but I could see what was happening. Or I thought I did. Well, I waited patiently and watched because I was wondering if I could finally see you. But as I stared, it wasn’t you I saw. All I saw was something silver bent at the top and then straightened downwards. As I was thinking of what it might be, it suddenly pierced my left leg. Mommy I was so terrified! I screamed and yelled and shrieked for you but you didn’t seem to hear me. I couldn’t take the pain it was giving me. I tried hard to hold on to my surroundings but it ripped my leg off. I was shrieking and crying hard because it hurt. But it never stopped there! It got inside you again and got my other leg. Oh Mommy, I never thought there could be so much pain! But one last time Mommy, it got me. It got my whole body!

I grasped tightly even though the sharp end had gone through my heart. Oh Mommy, I wanted to be your little girl. I want you to know that I tried hard to hold on tight so that I can live and be your little girl. Mommy I’m sorry I let go. I let go because it was slowly tearing me and I couldn’t take the pain. It hurt Mommy, honestly it did. I love you Mommy, I really really do. But I knew I was dying and I couldn’t hold on much longer. But you know what hurts most Mommy? What hurts most is that I heard you screaming. Mommy, I let go because I thought I was hurting you. I’m sorry if I ever did Mommy. I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t want you to get hurt so I chose to let go even if I so wanted to be your little girl. I wanted to see you Mommy. I wanted to hug you, to kiss you, to make you happy and be your little girl. I really do. And if given another chance, I would get back inside you again. Even if that silver thing were to rip me over and over again just so I can see you. I hope that you understand that I tried so hard to live. But I’m very sorry it didn’t work. I know I should have tried harder. But I was scared too.

I miss you Mommy. I’m patiently waiting for you here in heaven. I asked Papa Jesus to let you stay here too so that I can be with you and dad too. I hope that you can be both happy. Please don’t fight anymore because I don’t want either of you getting hurt.

Also, watch out for that silver thing, okay Mommy? Be careful always and take care of yourself and Daddy. I love you Mommy. Tell Dad that I love him too. I’m praying for you always. And don’t worry because I won’t be going anywhere. I’ll just be here waiting for you. Ü

With Love so FULL,
Your Little Girl